All I have been thinking about it going away. There is one specific place that I honestly want to go to, but I am not ready to go there yet. Too many emotions to deal with in taking that trip and I need to get away from that. It hasn't really been emotional for me lately, just tense. I realize how much I try to pretend everything is fine, when in fact things are far from being fine. Sometimes, I feel as if I am going to drop dead in this apartment and spend the rest of my life alone. I don't feel I have accomplished anything. I feel lonely and frustrated by so many things. It seems when I try to talk to people, they don't really listen to what I am saying....Ha and some have turned thier backs.
But I know we create our futures and that is not a future I want to create. It's just been a tough day.